Ninlympics
by peppiegal
Summary: Have you ever heard of the Olympics? Well what happens when you throw the Naruto bunch in there? Nothing good I can tell you that. This is a great story if you are looking for something funny.
1. Chapter 1: it begins

**Ninlympics**

By: Hatsue Hasekura (peppiegal)

Disclaimer: THIS IS PURELY FAN MADE AND THE AUTHOR DOES NOT—NO MATTER HOW MUCH SHE WISHES SHE DID—OWN NARUTO IN ANYWAY SHAPE OR FORM.

Chapter 1: The Ninlympics: Commence!

"All the ninja of Konohagakure are hereby invited to take place in the ceremony of the Ninlympics. The Ninlympics are held once every 25 years to all the ninja far and wide. The Ninlympics will commence on the first day of the fifth month. There are 10 events with sign up sheets placed around your village.

All Konoha's ninja are required to sign up for at least one event. Beyond that it is your choice to sign up for as many as you like.

-Tsunade

The fifth hokage"

Hatsue surveys the sheet in front of her. It takes her a little while to understand what it means die to the over use of big words.

"SUKO-CHA-AN!" she yells ripping the sheet of paper down and running off to find her best friend.

All over Konoha the word of the Ninlympics were spreading faster than lightning can hit the ground.

Lee happily hums as he skips to each of the sign up sheets saying it will be fun and a challenge to participate in them all

"You know Neji, it is unyouthful to be seen like this." Lee says looking down as said Hyuuga who he has been dragging to each sign up sheet. Neji sits with his arms folded as Lee pulls him using the back of his shirt as a handle to the rest of the Hyuuga.

"Hmpf!" Neji hisses. Being seen like this—at least in his eyes—was far more dignifying than willingly participate in this circus of trained monkeys. "I would rather go to the eclectic chair than do this crap!"

"Neji! Don't you have any Japanese ninja pride?!" Lee scolds.

"No I don't, not if I have to be in this crap!" Neji seethes back. Little to Neji's knowledge Lee was signing Neji up for everything as he signed himself up.

"Come on Neji. We have to sign up. That was in Tsunade-sama's handwriting" TenTen says trying to get Neji to cooperate. Neji glares at the brunette because she signed up for the shuriken toss. TenTen shrugs it off.

Unlike the Hyuuga the Uchiha was willingly signing up for stuff. He wants to test himself against the various ninja throughout all the lands. And Naruto was signing up for everything Sasuke did to prove he can beat the young protégée.

"SASUKE, I'm gonna beat you at these games! Believe it!" Naruto yells punching his fist at the raven haired boy.

"Whatever just don't embarrass me loser!" Sasuke says smirking.

"SASUKE!!!" Naruto yells lunging at his teammate. Sakura stands in his way.

"Still hiding behind that thing for protection?" Hatsue smirks walking up with Mitsuko and Akahito trailing at her heels.

"Hn, well if it isn't the idiot brigade." Sasuke says turning around to face the three ninja.

"You're the one that is taking shelter behind a pathetic excuse for a kunoichi!" Hatsue shoots back.

"Stop being so mean Hatsue!" Sakura commands

"You actually think she is going to listen to you?" Mitsuko glares at the pink haired kunoichi.

This story doesn't revolve around Hatsue and Sasuke's verbal abuse to each other nor Sakura and Mitsuko's. Hatsue and Mitsuko signed up for everything.

"Hey Hinata, why don't you sign up for this one!" Kiba calls to the shy little brunette. Hinata silently walks up to the sheet and reads the description to the event.

"Survival

Each ninja participating in this event will be required to survive in a forest for 10 days while fighting off foreign opponents and the proctor's examining each ninja's survival ability."

"O-okay Kiba-kun" Hinata whispers then writes her name on the attached sheet of paper under Naruto's name.

Others aren't as enthusiastic about the Ninlympics. Shikamaru for example is dreading the very thought of this. It means he will be required to get off his lazy butt and do something.

"This is such a drag" Shika whines.

"Quit being so lazy" scolds Ino.

"How many events are you going to make me sign up for? It only said we need 1." Shikamaru groans miserably.

"You need some more work ethic you lazy bum!" Ino harps.

"Why? I'm getting by on as little as possible and that seems to be fine."

"I don't know why I even bother! You are so lazy!"

Shikamaru would have said something back but decided it was too troublesome; then again he thinks breathing is too troublesome.

As for Chouji, he decided it was better to stay out of it so Ino doesn't take his chips away again. That was the worse 3 minutes of his life, and he doesn't think he can take that emotional stress again.

Hatsue and Mitsuko decided it would be fun to sign up for everything. Akahito took it as a personal challenge to all men and convinced Lee to join him and his quest for victory... against the girls, but he left that out.

The jonin are not very enthusiastic about this either, well, besides Gai, but he doesn't really qualify as a human let alone a jonin.

"Come on my youthful friends! It is very un-youthful to not want to participate in this wondrous event!"

"Why are you so happy about this? Wouldn't it have been easier to kill us with something like the eclectic chair? But to make us do this! It is saddening." Scorns Kurenai.

"What an un-youthful display of ninja-ness!" Gai preaches "you should be proud to represent your beautiful village in something as spectacular like the Ninlympics!"

"I will be proud the moment it ends" mopes Asuma.

"Agreed. Lets all hide under Tsunade-sama's bed this time. They know we hide under Konohamaru's now." Kakashi offers. Everyone looks around at Gai. He has an awfully big mouth when it comes to stuff like this. But lucky for the other jonin Kakashi knows just what to say to get him to keep his mouth shut.

"I can keep a secret far longer than Gai!" Kakashi says opening his book and giving Kurenai and Asuma a quick glance over his book to tell them to play along.

"Oh, easily!" Kurenai says catching on right away, but alas, Asuma was a little slower on the uptake.

"Is that a challenge?" Gai questions getting a scary gleam in his eyes. Kakashi nods.

"Our secret is that we will be that we are hiding under Tsunade-sama's bed."

"My secret is: I haven't changed my underwear sense I met my youthful student Lee!" Kurenai and Asuma recoil and Kakashi nearly barfs.

"That is nasty!" Kurenai says slowing inching away from him.  
"But it is such a youthful pair of underwear, for I met my beloved student Lee on that day!"

"If you spill our secret you will have to..." Kakashi stops to think of the worst possible thing in Gai's eyes. "Stay away from Lee for two whole months and change your underwear because that is disgusting!"

"And if it is I that wins you will have to finally wear the spandex that I have made especially for you!" there was a pause before Kakashi agreed.

The three jonin walk off to Tsunade's house as Kakashi tries to decide what is more disturbing: Gai wearing the same underwear for more than 2 years or that fact that he made a spandex particularly for him.


	2. Chapter 2: the race

**Ninlympics **

By: Hatsue Hasekura (peppiegal)

* * *

A man stands in front of all the ninja that are here to participate in the Ninlympics.

"Okay, I would first like to announce that for most of the events a kekkei-genkai will not be useable. I would like all the ninja with a kekkei-genkai to stop forward and tell me your name, and you kekkei-genkai. About 20 ninja step forward, including Sasuke, Hatsue, Neji, Hinata, and Akahito, then many more.

"My name is Hyuuga Neji, my kekkei-genkai is the Byakkugan." Neji says then sulks away.

"Meh name is Hasekura Hatsue, and my Kekkei-genkai is the Jinkokugan." Hatsue says. Jinkokugan is an eye jutsu that has been known to slow down time around the caster, so it appears as if they are moving at 10 times their normal speed. But the jutsu is a double-edged sword. It messes with their heart beat and ultimately shortens their lives.

"Really, I heard everyone with that kekkei-genkai had died." Jinkokugan means time eye.

At the first event which was the race the ninja from all different countries are gathered at the starting line.

Hatsue stands next to Lee. And she hatches a diabolic idea.

"Hey, Lee, you're in this race right?" Hatsue questions, sounding almost interested.

"YOSH, OF COURSE I AM!!" Lee yells getting fired up

"I have a good idea for training for you. Why don't you carry me? That should make for some good training, huh?"

"THAT IS A BRILLIANT IDEA HATSUE!!" Lee roars, throwing his fist up in the air.

"This event the people with Kekkei-genkai that can not be used are Hatsue Hasekura and-

"Hatsue tunes out the rest of it, she doesn't care. She already knew she wouldn't be able to use it, but she has Lee.

"ON YOUR MARKS! GET SET!" Hatsue jumps on Lee's back(author's note(yes I can do that) mind out of the gutter!) . "GO!!" Lee runs off leaving many others to eat his dust.Hatsue waves as she lazily sits on Lee's back. They get far ahead of everyone else.

"Wait Lee-kun, maybe we should lay some traps for the other Ninja, so our own can get ahead!" Hatsue says and Lee comes to a stop.

"Is that cheating?" Lee asks.

"No," Hatsue says soothingly, "what do you think the other Ninja will be doing? That's

right, laying traps." Hatsue says not giving Lee a chance to answer. Hatsue runs around and

buries a few paper bombs in strategic locations around the path.

"Okies Lee, let's go!" Hatsue says and jumps back on Lee's back. Lee takes off

BOOM!!

Someone stepped on one of Hatsue's bombs.

"Hey Lee, I want to run for a little while. I want to race YOU! Now that I am ahead of

everyone else I will just focus on you, please stop!" Lee comes to a stop.

"Okay Hatsue-san, if that is what you want." Hatsue jumps down and is slightly red.

"You don't have to call me san..." Hatsue starts to run slowly. "Are you coming or not?"

Hatsue starts to run faster.

"Heh, I'll beat you Hatsue!" Lee yells running after Hatsue. Lee was kind of tired so Hatsue had a slight advantage. Plus Hatsue had been training with Lee, but she wasn't quiet as fast as he was, but is a lot faster than she use to be. Lee starts to pant as he catches up to Hatsue.

"NOT COOL!" Hatsue whines pushing herself to run faster. Then her eyes catch something that makes her stop. A box.

"NUUUUUU! IT'S BEEN A POOR ABANDONED BOX!!" Hatsue yells and runs over to the box. "It's okay... I'm here now!" Hatsue says petting the box. Lee just stares at her in disbelief. What a box obsessed moron.

Lee runs ahead as Hatsue stays back and rocks the box to sleep. Many ninja run past her.

"Hasekura, you really are an idiot!" Sasuke says. Hatsue takes her eyes off the box.

"GAK! UCHIHA!!" Hatsue yells jumping up. Hatsue forgets about the box.

"I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!" And she takes off running and vanishes from sight.

"What a loser." Sasuke says shaking his head.

Lee runs past the finish line in Sunagakure. Hatsue doesn't show up for half an hour, when it is too late to win a medal.

Lee stands on the highest pillar to show he was the first to finish. The second was a rain ninja by the name of Sakue. And the third was a mist kunoichi named Nene.

"Tsue-chan!" Mitsuko says comforting Hatsue who is sitting facing a tree. "You at least beat

Sasuke." She comforts.

"But I wanted to beat Lee!" Hatsue whimpers.The first event comes to a nice end besides Hatsue whining.

* * *

Review! I command thee! whatever, just don't steal!! or i will shred you to ribbons with my amazing ninja kitty claws!


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